We have all done it, right? We flip through the pictures on a dating app faster than a Las Vegas poker dealer. Too skinny, too fat, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too naked, not naked enough, too fem, too butch. In 30 seconds we have judged the potential date-ability of an entire screen of little faces. You see, those faces aren’t real people right? I mean like, they don’t have birthdays or sick parents. They didn’t just get a new puppy or find out their niece has leukemia. They don’t laugh or cry. Perhaps they don’t even have genitals. Well, ok they have genitals, because it’s the second picture they send, just after the one in front of the water fall in Hawaii.
My point is this. Since these people aren’t real to us, what if we look at them purely in terms of herpes equivalents. (Stay with me now. ) Let’s go through a little exercise. Take out your phone and open the hook up/dating app de jour. You see the really hot, muscle guy with the great hair? Ok, that’s me! Not really. Actually, that guy has herpes…or genital warts….or any other sexually transmitted infection that you really don’t want. I call this the James Bond effect. (You know the guy all the ladies wanted, so he had all the ladies!)
So, here we go with Life Lesson # 1. Really hot, muscle guys with great hair don’t meet their life partners on hook up apps. They meet guys on hook up apps to… you know, hook up. (Even if they have a picture of themselves hiking with their well behaved, black lab. ) Said guy will have a really high herpes equivalent score of say ….ten. Now, you see the guy next to him. He is posing with a Buddhist monk…and an elephant in Thailand. Not super hot, but he looks handsome and successful, and well traveled. Guess what? His herpes equivalent score is still up there…like a seven.
This brings me to Life Lesson #2: Moderately handsome, successful people, who are well traveled, probably still just want to hook up. Unless, of course, you are even more handsome, successful and well traveled. Then perhaps they want to date. But usually, these people meet their life partners at outdoor survival seminars. So, good luck with that.
Let’s take a look at one more guy. Maybe he is a little older than you or maybe a little younger. Perhaps he doesn’t look like he fits into the tax bracket you prefer in your potential partners. His picture says emphatically, “My life isn’t totally together….yet!” Herpes equivalent score? Like a one. Why not zero you ask? Well he is on a hook up sight after all.
This brings me to my third and final Life Lesson: Nobody has a herpes equivalent score of zero. And as a corollary to Life Lesson #3 is Gay Hook Up Site Dictum #1 which is this. Those tiny little faces on your phone screen represent real people with real stories. They bleed and they cry and have good days and bad. They have stories to tell about rich, full lives that will inspire you. Those stories can draw you in and maybe even make you fall in love. Perhaps you might like to get to know one of them?
Did you like what you read? Or maybe you hated it. Did it make you think or make you mad? I would love to hear from you about this or any other health concerns. Leave a comment or drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.